


(May Be Not So) Out And Proud

by Snacks_4life



Category: Original Work
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, LGBTQ, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Character of Color, LGBTQ Female Character, Lesbian Character, Light Angst, Original Character(s), Original Fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:14:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29019537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snacks_4life/pseuds/Snacks_4life
Summary: ~  "Society isn't made to make it easy for us, so you'll have to fight for yourself. So here's my question; Do you think that you are gross? That I'm gross? That we -what we have- is gross?""No-""Then why couldn't you just hold my hand!?"  ~This was made for an english assignment lol
Relationships: Emery/Rosanne
Kudos: 1





	(May Be Not So) Out And Proud

**Author's Note:**

> This piece was originally made for an english assignment and with the prompt being "Forbidden love"! I thought I might as well post it here! I hope you will at least find this a little enjoyable so please if you do give kodus and comment; it would mean the world<3

(Maybe Not So) Out And Proud

Emery and Rosanne once again that day sat in Rosanne’s room; more so her bed. But this wasn’t the usual light-hearted chattering and comfortable atmosphere they usually share, this one was an uncomfortable dead-silence. Tension and unease filled the silent room as none of them has yet to speak. 

They were both sitting crossed legs in front of each other. In all honesty they weren’t that far away from one another, but in relation to what the bed had to offer lengthwise it seemed miles away. Because if they were to move slightly back one would hit the wall and the other would fall off, Emery, in that case.

Oftentimes they would love sharing physical contact with each other when they were alone, almost to a point that if anyone were to see them they would think they were touch-starved. Which in context made this situation unbearable for the young couple. Emery loves being all curled up, melting into Rosanne’s body. Emery’s back against the others chest as she browses her phone or plays with her girlfriend’s hands. Rosanne usually laid her hands on Emery’s tummy, hugging her, which made Emery feel secure. Though sometimes it made her think of her belly and became self conscious, everyone else at her school seemed to be much skinnier than her, but it seemed the other didn’t pay no mind, so it was all fine. 

Rosanne loves cuddling, too. She loves holding Emery in her arms while resting her chin on top of Emery’s head due to the height difference. She always looked so adorable, Rosanne thought. And they would stay like that, simply enjoying each other's company. Which was just what they were doing earlier today until they decided to go on a little picnic in the late spring’s warm sun.

It really was a great plan, originally, but sometimes it just doesn’t go as you would’ve thought. So here they were, back from the picnic and they both sat at the opposite ends of the bed.

Rosanne was the one who clearly looked grumpy: With her arms crossed and her chocolate eyes darted downwards to seemingly nowhere, in thought, searching for the right words. Emery in the other hand fiddled with her hands and fingers, her sky blue eyes being locked at her girlfriend. She was nervous to say the least and also because, though unadmittedly, knew the cause of her girlfriend's change of mood. Rosanne eventually looked up and connected their gazes. 

“Do you feel ashamed to be with me?” she asked sternly. That had Emery caught off guard with the sudden question. Of course she would just cut right to the chase, obviously referring to their not-as-romantic outing they had.

“What? No! Of course not, I love you and you know it!” Emery answered defensively, feeling timit.

Rosanne didn’t respond. Instead eying Emery, signaling that she wasn’t satisfied with the answer. Emery sighed, making the other know she got the message and will explain herself further.

“You know my parents don't approve of our..” She hesitated, thinking through. “..about this ‘type’ of relationships” She finished, looking down. She’s looking down like that of a child who had just confessed to their parents that it was them who have broken that special vase that had been passed on for generations.

And like a parent Rosanne already knew about this, therefore trying to counsel the younger. “I know. Yes I know that. You don’t want them to know and that’s okay.” She said with a sympathetic smile.

“No, but you don’t understand!” Emery burst out. “They would think that I’m gross! That I am disgusting! They would be disappointed… They’ll think I'm a failure..!”

Rosanne snapped at that. “Don’t you think I know those kinds of things!?” Emery got taken aback while Rosanne continued. “Life can be hard, especially when homophobia and racism is all around town. Hell, you surely still have to deal with antisemitism and now all of my younger trans friends is getting depressed because of this stupid new law the goverment have enforced! Like seriously, who are they to decide if they should have hormone blockers, it’s not even harmful!” She is irritated, to say the least. Her arms were flailing all around, gesturing to everything and nothing, before taking a huff and looking Emery dead in the eyes. “But what was important was that we said we were going through this together.” She said. And it was true, they both promised each other. “But we can't do this together if you can’t take that step with me. You have to stand up for yourself and let go of what people think of you. Society isn’t made to make it easy for us, so you’ll have to fight for yourself. So here’s my question; Do you think that you are gross? That I’m gross? That we -what we have- is gross?”

“No-”

“Then why couldn’t you just hold my hand!?” Rosanne cried out. 

Silence.

If Rosanne’s parents were home they would have probably gone to her room by now to see what all the fuss was about. Likely scolding her in spanish for shouting at a guest. Her parents were fast to welcome Emery to the family when she introduced her as her girlfriend almost eight months ago, which Rosanne was heavily relieved by, getting worried as flashbacks from when she first came out to them two years ago, Rosanne then being fifteen at that time. They didn’t speak nor acknowledge her for a whole week. It’s all fine now though. Point is, she’s seen as a part of the family, but as long as her parents owned this house she would still be a guest nonetheless. And you shouldn’t shout at guests.

But alas here they were, arguing, and Rosanne furrowed her brows as she again opened her mouth when she wouldn’t get a response.

“There were almost no people around, and if it would happen that your so called “friends” from school would come to town and somehow see us, we could just let go and you could just say that we’re only friends!” Rosanne explained before frowning and speaking again. “Actually, scratch that” She stated, looking directly into Emery’s ocean blue eyes, which is ironically getting watery. “Can you please stand up and actually be proud of who you are, of us, because this just isn’t fair!” Rosanne finally pleaded, letting out a huff as she flailed her arms up one final time before dropping them. She felt deflated and weakened, but her words still held power.

Emery sniffled and agreed, defeated. ”You’re right, this isn’t fair. I’m sorry that I can't, I really am. I can’t stand up for us, and you deserve so much better than that.”

They both went silent after that. Their words stung like venom in their chests and ached like thunderstorms in their heads. The struggle was real, because they really loved each other, but they were right; this wasn’t a fair relationship. Rosanne would do anything for Emery, protecting her from every jerk that has the audacity to hurt her in any way, but they both know Emery wouldn't do that. Rosanne didn’t necessarily need Emery to shout it from the rooftops and write it on the sky line about their relationship, but was holding hands really too much to ask for? Emery wouldn’t stand up for them, for Rosanne nor herself in that matter. Rosanne had been so patient with her, as she promised, but she couldn’t just wait for something if the other didn’t seem to be willing to take the risk. And it certainly wasn’t her responsibility, if it only resulted in her hurting.

“But it’s not your fault.” Rosanne eventually breaths out. That grabbed Emery's attention as she looked up at her again, a bemused expression plastered on her face. Roasnne couldn't help but notice how Emery’s stiff shoulders dropped in a heavy yet subtle breath and a glint in her eyes appearing, shimmering right into Rosanne’s own eyes.

“It’s those disrespectful pieces of shits that are to blame.” Rosanne stated, letting out a brief chuckle to cover her own sniffle as she fought back tears. She tucked her short purple hair behind her ears, uncertain of what to say anymore and suddenly feeling unsure of what to do with her hands. She hated feeling vulnerable, always tried to hide it through jokes and sarcasm: Though this wasn’t exactly the time or place for that.

As a response Emery -finally to Rosanne’s dismay- decided to do something. Emery sneaked closer, all the way until their legs touched, and then mimicked the motion. She tucked her long golden locks behind her ears and continued the movement so she followed the flow of her hair and let it rest on her upper chest. She looked longingly at Rosanne and placed her pale hands on Rosanne’s cheeks, making a significant contrast against the other’s darker skin. Rosanne leaned into the touch, closing her eyes as the anxiety eased, but oppended them again to look at her girlfriend. 

“I will try to do better, I promise.” Emery exclaimed softly, eyes shifting between eye to eye to signal the seriousness of her promise. “For us.” She continued before planting a gentle kiss on Rosanne’s lips.

As Emery pulled away she was swooped back again by Rosanne with another, more deeply, kiss, embracing one another with desperation and gratitude; and so much love. Neither of them wanted to let go. They held onto each other for dear life like if they were to let go they’d get seperated. ‘Forbidden’, many said. This love wasn’t as worth as the ‘normal’ kind of love. But they weren't going to give up on this -on each other- just because of others’ simple ‘disagreement’.

Love can be complicated, that is a common fact, but love sure isn’t easier for kids like them. When people around them say they can’t, when people say it’s wrong, but they know that it’s possible, it isn’t wrong; when they know it’s a beautiful thing but the others can’t seem to see the art. When all they want is to be happy with each other, without judgment of their simple existens.

“Forbidden love”. Sometimes it all just seemed to be so extremely unnecessary.

**Author's Note:**

> ~<3~


End file.
